Laos has long been suspected of being one of the most laid-back cultures in the world.  After spending nearly 2 weeks here on the Mekong I couldn’t agree more.  Speaking with the locals we have learned the concept of ‘Laos Time,’ which is set to a very different clock than the rest of the world.  10 minutes can mean an hour, an hour can mean any time today, and there isn’t much concept of ‘tomorrow’.  It’s a culture that exists only in the present, and it can be of great comfort or great annoyance.  Stepping in to a café and ordering a Pepsi may be an experience that lasts more than an hour.  If you order a meal your server may actually hop on a bike and ride to the nearest market to pick up the ingredients for your plate, returning 30 minutes later to begin preparation.  If you are told that your ferry across the Mekong will be here in ‘ten meena,’ don’t be surprised if it shows up in two, or forty.

On the other hand, the people here seem reasonably happy and we suspect it’s because they aren’t panicking about ‘what needs to be done later’ like Western cultures tend to do.  In America we might sit down to lunch with friends and mostly discuss how much laundry we have to do later, what time we need to pick up the kids later, and how we need to get to the bank later before it closes.  Here, people sit down to lunch and simply talk about lunch or whatever they are thinking or feeling right then over their meals.  Maybe all those cheesy ‘living in the present’ self-help books actually have something to say.

And my God the generosity and hospitality of these people.  We have primarily been staying with David’s extended family – Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, etc, who all mostly live on the same compound on the outskirts of Paxse.  This seems to be common in the Laos way of life – very large family’s all living together in a small number of huts or modest homes which sit in or around their place of business.  Here we have had all of these people taking care of us in every way they can, as Laotions evidently always do for guests.  We wake up in the morning (generally around 6:30 am) and the women are already doing our laundry and making our breakfast.  When we come out of the room we are sharing with David’s younger cousins, John and JJ, the rest of the family swoops in and cleans up our blankets and bedding right away.  Sometimes they overhear us mention we want a beer, and next thing we know we have six ice cold ones sitting in front of us.  Did you say you want to go to the Bolevan Plateau?  Get in the car.  Did you say you were hungry?  Here are 7 dishes to choose from, we just whipped them up over the open fire and the fish are fresh from the pond out back.

Sometimes this can become a bit awkward.  In the States when you are invited to dinner it is expected, and enjoyable, to help (or at least offer to) prepare the food or clean up after.  Not here.  The men work during the day (except for when they are napping in the hammocks during ‘hot time’) and the women take care of the men.  Period.  As men, we are expected to sit on the bamboo mats and relax while the women wait on us hand and foot.  A few times we couldn’t help but get up and assist the women with carrying the absurd amount of dishes over to us, but then they got a little nervous and the men started pointing and laughing.  We don’t do that anymore. When in Laos…

At times this can border on absurd.  Some of the younger kids speak a bit of English as they are now taught it in school so here and there they understand what David and I are saying to each other.  Yesterday they heard me say to David that I need to go shopping soon for some clothes.  Next thing I know the children have run to the women, informed them of my needs, and together as a family they began loading up the car to prepare for a shopping trip.  When we arrived they helped me find a new pair of shorts and were shocked when I demanded to pay for it myself.  In the end, I found the money back in my pocket later that night.  What we are learning is it’s much more respectful to smile and say thank you rather than protest as it can seem offensive, especially with the language barrier. This is not the United States – these people don’t need us to be polite, they need us to enjoy the moment with a sense of gratitude.

We will be staying here at the family compound for another few days at least, sleeping on mats on the floor, eating the best food cross-legged with our hands, and bathing with a hose and a bucket. We are tired, and we are loving it.  We will be leaving for maybe Cambodia, maybe Vietnam, maybe northern Laos, likely within a week or so when we have had our Southern Laos fill.

Here’s some wild stuff we’ve learned since arriving here – either from just observing Lao Folk or from asking John random questions (he’s the only person here who speaks some English and he’s only 13, and he thinks we’re the two coolest dudes ever, and we think the same of him):

1 – No one here has ever heard of Britney Spears, but Jason Mraz is absolutely EVERYWHERE.

2 – No vehicle goes anywhere with fewer than 10 passengers inside.

3 – Acting like you’re in a rush brings stares and questions like, ‘are you sick?’

4 – Congealed pig’s blood and blood clot soup is a little intense on the stomach – eat it slowly and fill up on the rice and bread.  Everything else is nearly always perfect.

5 – When conversing with men, look them in the eye.  When conversing with women, only ‘steal’ glances or they will start giggling and be unable to speak.

6 – Camping in Southern Laos is not possible.  Why?  According to Uncle Ut, “Danger.  Tiger and Gun.”

7 – It pays to learn the guitar before coming here: All Laoations generally know how to play at least one instrument, and more often than not it’s the guitar – usually played at night with at least one other family member singing along.

8 – During a baasli ceremony in which you are the guest of honor, the white threads the monks are tying around your wrists are there to bound guardian spirits to your body and soul – duh.

9 – When stepping in front a spirit house, especially near a bridge or in the wilderness, always wai (bow your head and touch your hands, in praying fashion, to your forhead), even if you look like a goofy white guy who doesn’t know what he’s doing.  It’s respect.

10 – Happiness ends after about 3 hours on a 115 cc bike in heavy winds, so keep it around 2 ½ and you’ll do just fine.

11 – Laundry baskets are used for trash and trash cans are used for bathing.

12 – No one ever has a pen but everyone carries a marker.

13 – If you feel like passing a vehicle on a double yellow line prior to a treacherous curve, it’s fine: Just honk your horn to warn the people coming head on.

14 – When language is taken away as a way to communicate, it’s surprising the number of smiles one can wear.