Heartbreak has been battling excitement and anticipation since we touched down yesterday at SFO.  Thanks to our old neighbors Jimmy and Jen, we just woke from our first good night of sleep in several days.  We flew overnight from Bangkok to Tokyo where we spent a day and then had another over night flight to San Francisco the following day (or was it yesterday or tomorrow?).  Thanks to a flight crew that seemed to have a more gripping fear of flying than Yours Truly, accentuanted by some of the worst turbulence I have ever experienced on a 747, the latter flight was a 10-hour, white-knuckled opportunity to  contemplate my mortality.  I did manage to stave off chest pains and a murder charge by closing my eyes and going to a happy place (for most of the flight I was truly still on the beaches of Cambodia).  It worked, but it wasn’t easy.  David, God bless him,  slept through interrupted only by the the occasional seat shift to ease the pain in his back.   I still look at him, and everyone else, in wonder at their level of comfort while shooting through space at 700 miles an hour, 40,000 feat above safety, in a tin can.  I lie in wait for the glorious day when rail and sea return as the primary (and only sane) means of international travel.

Our hosts here are off to work and we are laying in bed in front of their television (oh the luxury of English!) enjoying some solitude.  It will be a few days before the jet lag wears off and our bodies come back and talk to our heads like friends again.  We’re tired and dazed and our hearts are sagging a bit.  We are trying to give ourselves some time for it all to wear off before we contemplate the answer to the already-asked question, “So, how do you feel?”

Still, it’s hard not to look around at all that is no longer the same and feel rather overwhelmed.  Most of what we have swarming through our heads, at least innitially, isn’t incredibly positive.  I don’t want to be that guy that comes back from a mere 5 months in a foreign country and whines and complains about how much better it is “over there.”  But, today I am indeed that guy and there you have it.  Talk to me in a couple days after all the luxuries of of the Western world seep in and the sleepiness wears off and I may have something to different to say.  But, today…

It’s so cold here.  This morning I walked two blocks to the old coffee shop wearing long underwear, thick khakis, a tee shirt, a long sleeved tee shirt, a fleece sweater, and a track jacket and I was still shivering well after I finished my drip.  Thinking Oakland must be in the midst of a freak cold spell not seen since the 20’s I checked the temp on the weather channel and it’s a mere 54 degrees.  Evidently we accepted the tropical Laoation heat more than we had thought.

I feel somewhat disconcerted with how different Americans suddenly seem.  Everyone seems panicky and running away (or to) from something scarrier than it must actually be.  I have gone on and on for months about how so many of the people from Southeast Asia sit in the moment without complaint, content and eager to say yes and be.  I never thought that would be even more visible from the streets of Oakland.  The contrast is harsh, especially since my long underwear and fleece just aren’t doing the job.

I’m going to give this some time before dig farther and find whatever it is I will call New.  But I will say this:  I feel more appreciation for the bit of time a few of my friends gave me last night than ever before, and on hello they made me feel home again, so to speak. And I’m so friggin’ pumped to see the rest of you soon.  Just know that if I can’t find the words quite yet I am indeed searching, and I’ll be having a hell of a time even if my eyes are still a little sleepy.

I love you all and I can’t wait to see you (right after this nap).

Kevin

p.s.  We have pictures going back 3 weeks we have yet to post so we will be getting on that (right after another nap).

Me:  I’m sorry?

David:  Yea, I think the visa was good for two months but once you enter the country it’s only good for one.

Me:  Splendid

We ran off to the immigration office and looked in to it and sure enough we read the visa wrong.  We overstayed (not the first time on this journey) way too long and owed a ridiculous amount of money.  We payed up so as not to end up on Locked Up Abroad, and since then everything has changed.  No more boat trip up to the magical mountains of Phongsavali, no more wandering through Northern Laos with no care in the world other than where our next dish of Laap is coming from, no more ambition to cross the new and remote border in to Northern Vietnam.  We have been nicely asked to leave the country or pay more money.  We don’t want to pay more money. Game over.

Ok not quite.  We still have some things to see in Thailand and whatnot, but we are indeed a bit bummed out.  After the visa issue costs, and figuring out the costs of entering Vietnam by land (they want an arm and a leg!), not too mention travelling around there (way more expensive than Laos) we realized it might be best to head back to Thailand and then…

wait for it…

wait for it…

HOME! 

So….I am sad to announce Vietnam is no longer on the itinerary.  However, David has been eager to remind me that this leaves plenty of things to explore the next time we are here.  And yes, I believe we now both officially plan on coming back here as often as possible for what remains to be the rest of our lives.  So, that’s awesome….

So, feeling a bit deflated with the loss of our battle at the immigration office, we got a total of 5 massages in one day and then found a bar.  There we devised a bit of plan so we could still have some fun before heading back home. It was a pretty typical conversation between the optimist and the pessimist:

Kevin:  Screw this, screw Laos, they just took our money and now we got crap.

David:  Ok, well, it’s ok, this just leaves more to explore before we come back, right?

Kevin: This drink tastes like ass, they never put enough ice in these drinks.  They call this a cocktail?

David:  Would you like another drink?

Kevin:  What I would like would be to continue on my journey and go to Vietnam just like I wanted!

David:  Right, but that isn’t really possible right now so maybe we should think about some fun things we can do in Thailand before we go to the airport.

Kevin:  I’ve already been to Thailand and it’s stupid.

David:  I’m going for a walk. 

Eventually I relaxed, David returned, and he was kind enough to not reprimand me for (again) acting like a two year old.  At any rate, I got over my Vietnam-less Pity Party and am fully ready (and even excited) to depart Laos – we came back to Vientiane to say goodbye to the family –  and enter Thailand on Saturday.  We have some plans to grab a motorbike and do a little cross-country before hitting Bangkok International.  Plus, since Thailand is by far the most inexpensive place we have visited we won’t have to worry as much about time and money.  There are a few places we want to return to and say hi to those who so warmly welcomed us when we first arrived.  Plus there are a few places we have yet to see in Thailand and this gives us the opportunity to do just that.

So, here it is folks.  The moment you have been waiting for:  We will be home (likely) in March. 

Speaking of coming home, we are just beginning to start to form our next ‘plan.’  David has declared he is going to school, and has his application in to a couple of places throughout the states (I’ll let him tell you where and what for).  He plans on spending a bit of time with his various family members before hitting the books. 

As for me, I have a thousand different ideas of what I want to do next and am just beginning to narrow them down.  There are some killer non-profits in the States that are doing amazing work for Laoation and Cambodian children, particularly around education and health.  I am looking in to those and have even started thinking about, dare I say, grad school.  Terrifying indeed.  We’ll see.  Either way it appears I will be heading back through Oakland to see all my beautiful friends, and then out to Ohio to visit the good ol’ fam (man do I miss them!) and all my other beautiful friends.  Whether I end up in Ohio or California more permanently is still up in the air – it of course depends on work and (possibly) school. 

For both of us, the end goal is to come back here.  We don’t want to live here forever, yet we understand how much we have fallen in love with it to know we must come back here sooner or later.  Hopefully these next steps will shape this in to a very attainable goal.  Keep your fingers crossed.

Oh – and….we got the camera battery charger back!  Woohoo!  More pictures soon.  The next post you will see will be from Thailand.  Good bye, for now, Laos.  You have treated us well, and we are forever grateful.

We have been here in Vientiane for the past couple weeks, mostly staying at David’s family’s house outside of town or at fancy guesthouses near the city center (fancy meaning hot water and televisions and it’s AWESOME). Vientiane is incredibly beautiful . If you simply smile at just about anyone here they will invite you in to their home for a cold beer (literally). The city has grown just enough to have a smooth infrastructure compared to a lot of cities we have experienced (sigh…poor Phnom Penh), but it’s still quiet and charming and it feels safe, even at night. The weather is much better than the South as well – “hot time” doesn’t quite hold the sway here as it did down in Pakse and we are very thankful for it. It’s a shame most backpackers just past through here on their way to Vang Vieng or Vietnam, but I suppose that just leaves more for us. Nothing like kicking back at a street cafe near the Mekong with a cold Beerlao in your hand watching all the crazy motorbikes race by…. If we can make it happen, we’re coming back here as soon as possible and you should join us.

I got food poisoning. Again. Or, as David likes to call it, “The Affliction.” It happened less than 1 month after the last Affliction and it just seems entirely unfair. Last time the culprit, as you recall, was a delicious bowl of Thai chicken curry. An old favorite of mine which I have yet to consume since. This time? VIETNAMESE SANDWICH! The vendor seemed so sweet and like she made a killer sandwich, but little did I know… I woke up later that night feeling like there was a demon inside my intestines scraping his way out with a spoon. And let met tell you this: Laos bathrooms are totally tolerable until you are puking your guts out at 3 am. That’s all I have to say about that.

As we move North now we are making our way over to Vietnam, the end of our adventure. It was hard to say goodbye to David’s family today because we know we most likely won’t be seeing them after we enter Vietnam. Especially John and Jay, two of the goofiest and smartest kids I think I have ever met. How we will ever live without the midnight kung foo tournaments or the endless question and answer periods about the English language, I will never know. And as always, Kouk made some of the most delicious meals we have had since touching down 3 months ago in Bangkok. We will miss them (and the food) a lot, but remembering we came here to travel is getting us itchy to move on.

And where are the pictures of this increasingly-epic journey you may be wondering? Well…we have over 400 that need to be uploaded that we have taken since the new year but unfortunately our little memory card in our little camera got a VIRUS. Not to worry, though. David of course fixed everything right up while I was typing this and we will be uploading the pictures upon arrival in Vang Vieng. There’s some real gems in there, too, so come back and check them out.

Please leave us a comment or two and let us know how YOU are doing…we do indeed miss you…

Much Love,

Kevin and David

p.s…if you want a call from the future please email me your phone number – I had an iphone meltdown and my life is now hidden away in Apple’s basement….

Check out the albums

Vientiane

Ban Naxaithong

For all that is to be said about Phnom Penh, the beautiful and the desperate, it’s certainly no place for two home-sick Americans to spend the holidays. We had planned oo cn running away to Saigon but I got too caught up in researching work and volunteer opportunities to leave the city straight away. By the time we decided to move on it was too late to get our visas and still make it across the border to Vietnam before Christmas. Thankfully, David had the smarts to head south to the beaches of Sihanoukville, Cambodia. While I was still in Phnom Penh meeting with a few teaching opportunities he was wandering the sands looking for the perfect Christmas getaway. It paid off. When I arrived I found him relaxing in front of a thatched-roof bungalow set behind a few palms, all a mere 15 feet from the water’s edge. The sun had just set, the moon was rising, the air was salty and the next day would bring with it Christmas Eve. There wasn’t a sound around save for the waves because he found the farthest bungalow on the farthest beach away from the city center. It was called Otres Beach, and it was a 30 minute motor bike ride outside of Sihanoukville on a road no wider than a foot path just to get there. It was perfect.

We spent Christmas Eve wandering around the markets of Sihanoukville in search of presents and treats. It was a beautiful day. Just as hot as Phnom Penh but with the added benefit of the sea breeze. We stocked up on chocolates and peanut butter and eggs and coffee and all things Western that would give us some semblance of Christmas. Back at the bungalow we put up the little Christmas Tree and lights on the wide porch and settled in to a full day of serious relaxation. We met a few lone travellers who were strolling down our beach and invited them up for a beer. Though it was 100 degrees and the sights consisted of stray cows, sand, and palm trees, it was finally beginning to feel a bit like Christmas.

For lunch we strolled down the beach and found a little bungalow kitchen serving up some of the best curries I have ever had (and you know how much I like curry). After our meal we sipped on the too-sweet limeaide the Cambodians love so much and waited for the sun to set over the Gulf of Thailand.

When the stars started to shine a bit stronger we headed back to the bungalow to start putting out the luminaries. For those of you who don’t know, on Christmas Eve families in the Midwest line their streets with candles in paper bags or milk jugs called luminaries. I grew up doing this with my dad and brother. It was always freezing and windy and we would be out there with other families on our street lining everything with these candles until it seemed like the whole neighborhood was glowing and everyone’s hands were numb from cold. For me it was always the moment the last candle was lit that it was finally, truly, Christmastime. David had never heard of this, so I’m not sure if it was just an Ohio thing or just a Bellevue thing or what. Either way, there we were sticking all these candles in the sand as the tide was moving in. Our method wasn’t nearly as good as my fathers so the wind kept blowing them out, but it still made it feel a bit more like Christmas.

After the candles were lit, the tree was up, and the Christmas lights were wrapped around the one little window we had, I started feeling a bit funny – something wasn’t quite right. I needed to lay down and did, but for some reason that felt even more uncomfortable. Then the sweats came, an intense thirst followed, and for the rest of the night I laid in the bed under the mosquito net rolling back and forth trying to get the strange pain in my stomach to ease. By 3:00 am there were no doubts about what was happening: I was throwing up that curry I had for lunch as it clearly had given me food poisoning. Christmas day wasn’t much better. I laid in the sand and moaned and could hardly eat or drink a thing. Nurse David did what he could, but I mostly just slept in the sea breeze waiting for the nausea to pass. Merry Christmas.

I can’t complain too much, though. Even with the food poisoning it was a beautiful place to spend Christmas, and the sickness didn’t last more than two days. Thankfully I recovered enough a couple days later to take a boat trip with a local family out to the coral reefs near Bamboo Island. The family was quiet and sweet and took us to wherever it was we pointed. We ate a lunch of squid and shrimp caught that very morning on that very boat and it was delicious. We visited a few islands, went fishing, and snorkeled through beautiful corals. It was gorgeous, and we felt like we got to go behind the glass at the Monterrey Bay Aquarium. Sea urchins and caverns and blow fish and yellow fish and fluorescent blue fish and strange creatures moving with the current. I’ll never forget that day, and thank God we found some champagne at a Western market to go along with it.

We were a bit sad to leave but our visas had run out and we had no choice. The place was beautiful, the people kind and generous, and we had a truly relaxing time. If you want the real life bungalow-private-beach experience without having to take out a second mortgage, run to Otres beach now. It won’t be long before it’s all gone (rumor had it the government would be seizing the land, evicting the locals, and selling everything off to developers. We would have questioned this if we hadn’t witnessed it ourselves in the capital to the North).

[We have photos for the section below, they will be uploaded tomorrow 01.05.10]

We arrived back in Laos on New Years Eve. We decided we missed David’s family in Paxse enough to put off Vietnam for another few weeks, and of course we’re happy with that choice. As always we received a warm welcome, something now expected but no less appreciative. We hadn’t realized how much we missed the kids until they were running at us, giggling and yelling “Kay-been, Day-bid!” as we pulled up on our motor bike. We always feel like the family compound is a place filled with so much love, it’s impossible to not notice and take in some of the warmth. Especially with David’s uncle Ut, his wife, and their kids Jay and John. Always smiling and laughing and making up a new game that makes no sense to us but has them in excitement overdrive. The kids are a real fresh breath compared to Phnom Penh.

The last couple days we have been on our own in away. Jay and John, the only two in all of the compound who speak any English, have returned to Vientiane to go back to school. So, we are now communicating through hand signals and the 20 or so Lao words we have picked up just from hanging around. It can be frustratingly slow, but even when no one has a clue what the other is saying we somehow still all end up in big smiles. And the Lao smile is something to be remembered…

Oh! Exciting news. Some of the family members finished building their new little house on the compound and have officially moved out of their open-air bungalow. It has walls of concrete and real glass windows and tile floors and two whole rooms and everything. A big dinner with far too much BeerLao was planned last night in celebration as Uncle Aat, his wife, their two kids Joe (9) and James (2) spent their first night in their new home. The workers on the compound were happy, too, as two of them, Ooy (20) and Phun (23) got to move in to their new room right next door. We all feasted on fresh duck (which Yours Truly helped catch by being one of the herders, along with Joe), fish, a thousand different spices, sticky rice, and watermelon (which I learned last night is called Maak Muu in Lao). Everyone seemed generally happy. The roofing business, now nearly a year old, seems to be doing well, new building are popping up around the compound, everyone is getting a bit more comfortable, and we couldn’t be happier for them. They, in turn, couldn’t be happier to share their good fortunes with us. They continue to feed us way too much and every chance they get they entertain us or teach us a new Lao word or ask us something about our home country. It will be a challenge to say goodbye.

We leave Thursday for Vientiane, where the family is originally from. The kids are there now in school and of course they still have a house there where we will be staying for a bit. We have yet to visit Northern Laos so we are very much looking forward to it, and it will be nice to have our Smily Translator (13 year old John) by our side again. Afterwords we still hope to make it over to Vietnam (because if we don’t my father will surely never speak to me again).

We are alive, we are well, we miss home desperately, we are dealing (mostly) well with being together way too much, we are amazed daily by what we witness, we are surprising ourselves by our love for children (and often times, each other), we are tired, we miss hot showers, we are terrified and excited at what comes next, we are thankful to be without regret at the decision to take on such a journey as this, together. We are Living.

We miss you, we love you, Happy New Year!

Kevin and David

We left Phnom Penh on a 6 hour bus journey through the Southern Cardamom Mountains to get to the tiny coastal city of Krong Koh Kong. The town lies just 10 kilometers from the Thai border at the mouth of the Kah Bpow river, which empties in to the Gulf of Thailand. It’s an interesting mix of Thai and Khmer culture with tons of sea food. Tourism is just starting to pick up here because it is a gateway to  beautiful jungles, waterfalls, and pristine islands, but for the most part it still retains it’s old rural, market-place feel.  We spent most of our time wandering around the open markets, eating above the river, and trying to stay out of the intense, Southern sun.  The most enjoyable part of the trip along the coast came when we finally got to bust the tent out again.

On our second night in Koh Kong we ended up at a place called Bob’s Bar run by a friendly Irish guy who fell in love with the area awhile back and couldn’t leave.  We got to chatting with Bob who hooked us up with his German friend, Thomas, who runs a boat up the Kah Bpow river anywhere you want to go for a reasonable fee.  We had him take us and our new friends from Norway, Susanne and Lars, up the river about two hours to some beautiful cascades.  There we went swimming, jumped off cliffs in the river, and camped on the shore under the stars.  Perfectly beautiful experience.  Thomas brought along a couple locals to make sure we were fed well with grilled shrimp, squid, a couple Thai curries, and some eggs and baguettes in the morning.  We spent some time kayaking through the mangrove forests and hiking up the cascades as far as we could go in search of an even better swimming hole (they were endless).  The water was clear and cool, and we spent so much time in it and on it that we ended up with sun burns to last us the next couple weeks.   Because the river is so close to the ocean it acts with the tides, so on the way back our boat ran aground a sand bar. We took the opportunity to run around this little ‘beach’ while the sun was setting (and the captain was working to get us going again).  Eventually the boat was freed, we left the beach and relaxed on the way back under the last bits of the Cambodian sun.  If you are ever in Koh Kong look up Bob’s bar and have him make you a good western style pizza, then give Thomas a call at Neptune’s guesthouse and let him take you on the trip of a lifetime (just be careful of the crocodiles, literally).

We spent some more time in the markets of Koh Kong after the camping trip where we met lots of different kinds of people – women at banana stands, men selling the Khmer version of the pork bun, young guys inviting us to ‘the deeeskoh tek,” kids hawking post cards and other souvenirs.  The nice thing about this place is the open market is so very much Southeast Asia, but in too many places the markets have been taken over by souvenir shops for the tourist and no longer serve the locals.  Not Koh Kong, thankfully, where you can still get a massive bowl of soup for 70 cents and consume it while watching women sew while their kids make up fresh spring rolls.  The market was also our first experience with the Cambodian rains:  The sky suddenly opens violently, the ground is immediately flooded, and everyone closes up shop and goes home because the flood means no costumers.  Some day I’ll see that market again, and I will remember to bring my umbrella.

We are back in Phnom Penh now, and I think we have a better appreciation of the capital then we did our first time here.  We understand a little more about the people and their resilience, which gives me a bit more hope.  After doing some more reading and talking with more locals I think I am beginning to understand the needs a bit more as well, but mostly I’m just realizing that these people are strong.  Seriously, so strong.  It’s a good thing to know.

The sweetest thing about Phnom Penh is the evening “dance time.” Around the royal palace, which is near our guesthouse, are wide grassy boulevards in between one-way main streets running in either direction.  Here there are various monuments and fountains and wide grassy promenades where huge groups of people gather and do a dance routine.  In each group there is a leader who has a particular style, and each group has their own music blasting away while they all go nuts, perfectly in step.  Most of the dance moves come straight off of MTV, as well as most of the music.  Each song has a different dance that goes along with it.  So basically you have 5-10 groups of people, each group consisting of 20-60 people of all ages, dancing in perfect step to something they picked up on MTV – all in the middle of Phnom Penh’s busiest streets with the fountains and the royal palace in the background.  If only they danced during the day we could have had a better picture….

We will be spending a bit more time here, soaking up as much as we can learn as possible.  I have been meeting with a few people and looking in to different volunteer commitments, and we hope to have a little more direction before we go to Saigon for Christmas.

Speaking of Christmas….last night we were wandering some markets here in Phnom Penh when we came across a jewelry seller with one of those big glass jewelry cases.  On top of the case was a tiny Christmas tree about 2 feet tall with some ornaments, blinking lights, tinsel, a star, the works.  You don’t see something like that very often here so we payed attention.  We asked the woman where we could find a small fake tree like that in Phnom Pehn.  Her response was, “I sell you now fiteen dolla.”  We swiped it up, carried it back through the streets, ornaments and all, and now we have a Christmas tree in our guesthouse room.  We plan on taking it to Saigon with us so we can have a proper celebration on the 25th.

Happy Holidays

Take a look at our Koh Kong photos:

The rest of the day our guide took us around to many of the 10th century temples throughout the area teaching us the history of the Angkor Empire, which he spoke proudly of. He was really informative and even pointed out the spots that Tomb Raider was filmed (Aan-ha-leena Ho-lee film here, movie!). He taught us about all the symbolism of the different reliefs, where the kings were buried and why, what happened when the empire fell, and how the Khmer Rouge used some of the temples as hideouts when their revolution finally fell apart. He was well worth the cost of a mere 20 bucks for the whole day. The temples of Angkor Wat truly is the 8th wonder of the world.

Back in Siem Reap we immediately found a quiet bar to cool off in and rest. It gets to be around 100 quite easily in places, so hiking the temples for 10 hours got a bit tiring. Siem Reap is just South of the temples. It used to be a small market town but it’s grown in to pretty big business in terms of the tourist scene. Everyone who comes to Southeast Asia tries to make it to these temples, and Siem Reap is really the only place to sleep and eat within many kilometers. So, the prices have risen quite a bit in the past few years, which the people here desperately need. Unfortunately, it’s obvious the money isn’t always getting in to the hands of the locals. The street begging, the homelessness, the 50% unemployment rate, the children selling odds and ends at 10 at night on a street corner, the prostitution. During our travels we have yet to see a city this size filled with such desperation. Siem Reap is a beautiful place, but it’s difficult to enjoy when you are immersed in such tragedy. It’s also easy to get angry when you see many of the restaurants and guesthouses are run by foreigners earning a killing, while their workers and drivers are earning 5 bucks a day. We haven’t figured out whether the tourism there really has been good for the people, and many locals were also unable to answer the question just the same.

We are told to say no when women and children beg us for money because giving it to them isn’t encouraging them to find the services to get them off the street. That, and you don’t know where that money is really going. It’s difficult, though, when young mothers carrying infants are begging you for what amounts to be a nickle while you, the tourist, are enjoying a quick shopping spree through the market. For David and I we have taken to offering food when these folks are begging us for money. As long as they say yes it means they are truly hungry, which means we must feed them. In terms of money it can be hard to say no, but you have to get used to it otherwise you become a part of the problem. We have been able to feed some women and children around the city, but of course it’s not nearly enough, and we don’t know what else to do. We are hoping to find a good volunteer network here before we leave for Vietnam.

We are in Phnom Phen now, the Capital city of Cambodia. The disparity between classes isn’t any better here, maybe even worse. There are men everywhere without work, and more and more child beggars in the street. You can’t walk out of the guesthouse without being touted for any number of things: A taxi ride, a postcard, a massage, jewelry, drugs, books, and even sex. Literally, as foreigners here, it can sometimes be a real challenge just to get down the street. We scream money just by the way we look, and to have any sort of fun here usually leads to a rather guilty feeling because of the tragedy that surrounds us.

We have seen some incredible things here since leaving Laos, but we have to say we aren’t exactly enjoying ourselves. Sure we have had some excellent food, been to the 8th wonder of the world, and toured some amazing museams, but we just can’t bring ourselves to say “Wow, I really like it here.” It would be like going to the holocaust museam in Washington DC and at the end of the tour you say, ”That was great!” Instead, you don’t know what to say. You certainly didn’t hate it, but you wouldn’t say you enjoyed it, either. It’s that feeling of having to learn something that just should never have to be learned. So far, for me, that’s Cambodia.

We leave tomorrow for the Southern Coast of this little country. We need a break from these cities so we will be searching for some quiet islands – a place to reflect on all the tragedy we just witnessed and maybe a chance to think about how best we can help. Hopefully the next blog will be a bit more cheery.

By the way, we broke a camera, then lost a camera, then went without internet access for a bit. Sorry for the delay in postings. Between now, the islands down south, and Christmas in Hanoi, you should be hearing from us much more often now that things are back in order.

And speaking of Christmas, think about tossing a few bucks over this way to help feed some folks this year. There is a great organization (or so I am told) working to get kids off the street here in Cambodia called FRIENDS. Talking to some of the NGO workers it sounds like their bosses here live simply and don’t take the money to live in extravagant French villas (sadly, there is a history here of many NGO leaders living quite comfortably, while their workers get little to support themselves and their goals of ’saving the children’ are often unmet). Their website is http://www.friends-international.org/ if you would like to learn more.

Until next time….

About 3 hours Northwest of Chang Mai lies the old trading post Pai. It’s rather small with about 2,000 year-round inhabitants living there. Because it’s way up in the mountains it’s warm during the day and slightly chilly at night making for excellent sleeping. It’s become a popular place for backpackers hanging around Chang Mai to visit for a day or two, so unfortunately most of the activities there are aimed at getting young Westerners drunk on overpriced cocktails and beer. In the town itself not much remains of the old trading post – everything has been overtaken by bars offering western foods and live music. So, if you are looking for a weekend-long booze fest, this is the place to be.

We, though, decided to head up there and find a little bungalow we heard about just outside of town in the middle of a rice paddy. It was really quiet and relaxing and we spent most of our time gazing up at the stars at night. When we did venture in to town on our motor scooter it was mostly to visit the many second hand book stores. In just a few days I read The Alchemist, the Rum Diaries, the Last Lecture, and Nickel and Dimed.

We also took the motor bike up to a waterfall outside of town we had heard about from a few locals. It was beautiful, and we had the whole area to ourselves to swim in for quite awhile. The town itself is full of tourists paying too much for knock off liquor and cheap tee shirts, it’s a wonder few of them rent a motor bike and drive a mere 20 minutes to experience some of the most beautiful scenery in the world. I can’t believe people travel half way around the world and venture hours up in to the Thai mountains to consume imported beer and bad pizza, but that leaves the waterfalls and the hot springs all to ourselves. We, of course, had no complaints. The water was deep, chilly, and the sun shining through the cavern overhead was welcoming. Lovely time, and you can’t beat FREE.

On the way back to our bungalow we stopped at a spa near a hot spring. They had these big pools fed by the steaming mineral water. For a mere 100 baht a person you get to spend as much time as you can in the hot pools set in beautiful gardens, plus towel service and showers with lovely moisturizing soaps when you are done. It was hot enough that if it wasn’t for dipping in the cold pool every few minutes we wouldn’t have lasted. The ride back to the bungalow afterwards was incredibly relaxing, weaving around the mountain’s twists and turns with the sun setting just to our left behind the hills.

We also found a little pub/restaurant owned by an English ex pat and his Thai partner called the Witching Well. If you ever end up in Pai, GO HERE! The guys were incredibly kind, the food was delicious, and this is where we found all the local info on the best waterfalls, the best spas, and the best bungalows. We thank Marc and hope to see him again some day.

Also, next to our little bungalow there was a restaurant and guest house run by an American and his Thai wife. We didn’t stay there as we had already checked in to our little place, but we ended up eating their food twice a day because it was so delicious. It’s called Ing Doi – if you are in Pai look them up, bring a book, and sit on their little deck and let them take care of you for a bit.

All in all Pai was really wonderful. But, unless you are looking to get drunk on ‘western’ cocktails and eat terrible pizza, you don’t want to stay there more than a few days. And if you DO stay there, don’t bother with the loud and overpriced guest houses in town. Rent a motor bike (a mere 100 baht a day) and wander the country side for 20 minutes until you come upon some bungalows. Here you can relax in the Pai valley, take in the stars at night, and sleep well in the chilly air under your mosquito net. A great way to sleep off the restless Chang Mai nights and rejuvenate.

Next up, Welcome to Laos.

Check out the Pai Photos:

I think Chang Mai, for better and certainly for worse, was one of the most interesting experiences we have had since arriving in Thailand. One we won’t soon forget…

We arrived in this Northern Capital of the Chang Mai province after a 17 hour disaster house train ride (see below) from Ayuttaya The city was comfortable and welcoming, and the high country mountain breezes and cool evenings was a welcome retreat from the hot, Southern Stickiness. Chang Mai proper lies in a massive valley surrounded on all sides by towering mountains. The old inner city is still surrounded by an ancient moat with huge brick and plaster gates still visible. We checked in at the Grace Guesthouse on recommendation from our lady friend we met in Ayutthaya. She was right: comfortable and clean rooms in a perfect location, reasonably quiet neighborhood and incredible food, all for a mere 200 baht a night (about 6 usd).

The first night there we had a few drinks at Bee’s Bar, and then headed back to the guesthouse to sleep off the train ride. Bee’s bar was a small pub around the corner from our guesthouse run by a wonderful Thai woman (Bee), a kind and talkative Englishman named Sean, Bee’s boyfriend, and Sak, the cute and friendly bartender who became our best friend and guide for the next week. Being just off the main drag in Chang Mai, Bee’s bar was a welcome reprieve from the westerner filled, over priced night clubs sprinkled all over Chang Mai. These three folks welcomed us in to their little family, showed us around the city, and taught us a thing or two about Northern Thai culture. Not a day went by that we didn’t visit, and not a moment went by that we didn’t enjoy ourselves when with these people. Hopefully some day we will be lucky enough to see them again.

We spent a couple days here and there motorbiking around the city, just lazily exploring whatever caught our eyes. I would say one of our most beautiful days was when we took the scooter up one of the mountains in search of the Doi Suthep Wat, a massive Buddhist temple overlooking the Chang Mai valley. It was touristy as all hell and filled with plenty of French (again, nothing against the French, but I just can’t get over the smell), but no matter because the views were stunning, the Monks were welcoming, and we could have watched the little dancing children for hours. If you ever go to Doi Suthep get there plenty early because you won’t want to leave.

Back in Chang Mai we met up with Sak(pronounced sock) as he became our perfect local contact. He took us all over the city and showed us the local nightlife, the ‘real’ gay clubs, and the various foods we needed try that could only be found in Chang Mai. The gay clubs in Chang Mai are very, very different than those back home. Living in the Bay Area I thought I had seen it all when it comes to gay culture, but boy was I wrong. I would say he took us to about 6 different bars and we had just one drink at each, just enough time to show us the different ‘entertainment’ that was available. I’ll keep this part short as I know many different people are reading this, but here is one example: We walk in to a place called “power boys” which is aimed at primarily entertaining western, wealthy, white men. We were met at the door by an entourage of handsome young thai men and a couple kathooyes (ladyboys, kind of the equivalent of drag queens in the states, but more respected as an art form here) and we were escorted to our seats in front of a large stage. On that stage were three rows of more handsome young thai men who just sort of stood around, looking somewhat bored, and nodding there heads to the music. They wore only underwear and on their underwear they each had a number. The point of the number? Well, if you are interested in one you tell one of the men in your entourage who is serving you to bring you ‘that number.’ You can then order a drink for ‘that number’ and then he sits there with you and entertains you, chats and converses, while you have the drink. When he’s done with the drink he goes back to the stage and takes his place with the rest of the men, who are constantly being replenished by more men at the change of every song. Evidently, though, you can have more than just a drink. It’s all perfectly legal, as long as you have the money, and this is evidently a very common form of entertainment. David and I just sort of sat there with our jaws dropped, amused and slightly uncomfortable, and we promptly requested that Sak take us somewhere else after we finished our drinks.

The next place, Circle Bar, was pretty much the same except everyone was naked. Sigh. Lesson learned: No more gay bars.

We did however go to a place called The Mandalay on Halloween night with Sak and his friends and had an absolutely killer time. The place was about half the size of a football field with maybe 6-story ceilings. Laser shows and loud Thai pop, different people coming by to dance ON your table, pool tables, water features, a mix of gay people and straight people and white folks like me and Thai locals, all the works. We danced all night for sure, but mostly we just sort of looked around in awe. The San Francisco night life seemed like nursery school compared to this. One humorous little moment – It is evidently a common thing when one goes to a restroom in one of these upper-class places that several men come up to you while you are at the urinal or washing your hands and start giving you Thai massage. This is not a ‘gay’ thing at all. It’s just expected to receive a massage on your back, head, and calves while you are…well…doing your business. Of course I didn’t know this, so when I went to the urinal and felt six hands on my back and legs I zipped up and RAN straight for the table and yelled to my new friends, “I was trying to pee and all these guys were trying to grab me!!” Of course Sak and all of his friends laughed so hard they nearly fell over, and told me if I didn’t want the massage to just politely say no. I took their advice and for the rest of the night I peed in peace.

We found out through these pals that in a few days the Loi Kathong festival would begin. Loi Krothong is a Thailand-wide festival celebrating the November full moon, or harvest. In each province it is celebrated in a slightly different way depending on local custom. In Chang Mai tens of thousands of people gather at the river just outside of the old square for 3 days of song and dance, huge elaborate parades, fire dancing, incredible food, and more fire works than we knew even existed. The most amazing thing was the lanterns. People buy these huge lanterns made out of a kind of crepe paper with a candle attached at the bottom. You light the candle, heat up the lantern, and then let it go to float off in to the sky. With tens of thousands of people doing this all at the same time the whole sky was lit up. Plus, people take these little wreaths that sit on a tiny boat made out of banana leaves and flowers, called krathongs, and they light a candle on them and then float them down the river. So the river was all lit up as well mirroring the sky. Evidently you are to put your worries in the krothongs and the lanterns and then float them away. It was 3 days of intense beauty, deafening fireworks everywhere you turn, fighting through hordes of people in search of more delicious food, and complete and severe exhaustion. We felt lucky and grateful to have been a part of it, and we will never do it again.

Chang Mai is a city that finds an excuse to party for any possible reason, and it prides itself on stress-free, easy living. It’s no surprise that we ran in to dozens of backpackers who, on their way to Laos, stopped in Chang Mai and simply never left. 3 or 6 or 10 years later they still can’t manage to move, and I don’t blame them. It’s also a place that plays a bit too much with your head. Everything is in excess and moderation doesn’t seem to be in the Chang Mai vocabulary. Everywhere you look someone seems to be doing something more exciting or more interesting than yourself and it makes you question what the hell you are really doing there. Plus, everyone gets so exhausted just getting to Chang Mai that, once they arrive, they are just too tired to keep on moving. It’s a truly seductive city, and everyone seems to think they have a secret the rest of the world doesn’t quite understand. The mountain air is the best you will find in Thailand, the food is to die for, the people warm and welcoming with an ‘anything goes’ attitude, and somehow it also feels a bit like a prison. I highly recommend you pack your bags NOW and visit the place, but don’t be surprised if you get a bit trapped and never really leave.

For David and I it had a real, and thankfully brief, effect on us. We were exhausted and our heads were constantly floating to the clouds. We were jealous of others and their lifestyle and the atmosphere constantly had us longing for something more and different. The energy there is so powerful we nearly forgot our reasons for traveling together in the first place. Thankfully we escaped when we did, and ran off to Pai (more on Pai soon) to sit under the moon together and reflect on all our Chang Mai deeds and misdeeds.

I’ll miss Chang Mai with all of my heart, and I’m absolutely thrilled to be leaving.

Lessons Learned in Chang Mai:
1 – no more gay bars

Lessons Learned since leaving Chang Mai:
1 – The foundation I have built with David and David with I is more powerful and mysteriously beautiful than any krathong festival, fireworks show, or Chang Mai gay club could ever have to offer. How grateful this trip is having us become…

A Note on the Photos:

As you can see we are lacking in the photos department on this post. We had a couple nights where we forgot the camera, and a couple others where the batter died because we forgot to charge it. Plus, all the clubs and bars don’t allow cameras inside. On top of this, there were days when Chang Mai was really feeling like our home away from home and it simply felt unatural to be busting the camera out. We are learning that sometimes experiencing the moment for the sake of itself will give us a more vivid memory than a picture ever will.

Still, look for MANY more photos in the posts to come..

( in the mean time, enjoy the 30 photos we did snap -D):

Well, that’s simply not true.  I actually only write the posts themselves and because it records what post is written by who it merely appears that I’m doing all the work.  David, however, actually does quite a bit more.  He created the blog, the design, nailed down the url and came up with all the ideas for the little gadgets like the map, the itinerary page, etc.  He organizes and uploads all the photos, which takes hours on the slow connections here, and most of the photos themselves are actually taken by him (I find carrying a camera simply annoying, and he takes better shots anyway).  Plus, all the techy stuff is all him – like the ability for you to log in and leave comments on my posts, he took care of that and made it happen.  I would have no idea how to even begin to get something like that started.

The point being – without David I would have a bunch of words going out in a boring email, and without me he would have a beautiful blog with pictures but no other content.  It’s a mutual effort,  one we enjoy.

Much Love,

Kevin and David